It’s fascinating to watch how children begin to discover what they’re good at. Some are naturally drawn to activities that spark their curiosity. Others are guided by what their parents encourage. And some are left to figure things out on their own, often finding themselves pulled in directions that may not serve them well. There are so many influences competing for our kids’ attention that if we aren’t intentionally helping guide them, they’re almost destined to drift toward the path of least resistance, and sometimes down the wrong road.
When I think about my own upbringing, I can see how layered those influences were. My mom was artistic and creative, while my dad was an engineer, hard stop. Two complete opposites on nearly every spectrum. My grandparents added even more texture to that mix. My paternal grandfather became an entrepreneur at just 12 years old because he had to support six younger siblings. He learned how to create income, adapt, and figure out what worked in each season. My grandmother worked when she was young, but as I knew her, she was a loving presence, preparing meals, nurturing relationships, and always taking an interest in us.
My maternal grandparents were completely different. Though they both worked, what stood out most was how deeply they loved each other. They were truly in love and did life together, supporting, complementing, and building something side by side. It was a unique pairing physically, too: my grandmother was 4’9” and my grandfather was 6’4”. But together, all of these influences quietly shaped me. From those three family models, I could see what kind of life felt meaningful and what felt imposed. That helped me find a path that made sense for who I was, and led me to a career and family that fulfilled me.
I want that for every child, actually, for every person.
So I ask: How are your kids and grandkids being influenced?
The internet, teachers, churches, or lack of them, and parental figures all shape their identities and choices. I have a special heart for young people, especially those in middle and high school, because that’s when so many life-shaping decisions begin. Even my grandson, from as early as seventh grade, was already talking about which college will give him the best track scholarship. When I ask what he wants to do for a career, he says physical therapy, mainly because it pays well. Not necessarily because it fits his natural gifts or brings him joy.
I want kids to know they have options, and that they can actually love what they do. Imagine a world where people worked in jobs they were naturally good at and deeply enjoyed. There would be more joy, peace, and excellence everywhere. But too often, work becomes about survival instead of calling. It doesn’t have to be that way. They can have both, we just have to help them discover their gifts.
There’s a story about a child who desperately wanted to join their school choir, but their parent gently discouraged them, not because the child lacked ability, but because the parent once experienced deep rejection when they tried to sing. That unhealed pain quietly shaped the parent’s response, nearly costing the child the chance to discover a natural gift. Sometimes the limits placed on us aren’t about our potential at all, they’re about someone else’s past.
Conversely, Thomas Edison struggled in school, and his teachers believed he couldn’t learn in a traditional classroom. When a note was sent home questioning his abilities, his mother refused to let that judgment define him. She pulled him out of the system, taught him herself, and consistently spoke belief into who he was becoming. That encouragement helped shape one of the greatest inventors in history. When placed beside the chorus story, the contrast is striking: one parent passed down fear, while the other passed down identity. Together, these stories show how belief, or the lack of it, can echo through generations.
Thankfully, my grandkids are being exposed to many activities and encouraged to explore what they enjoy. They are bright and capable, but it’s the exposure that will help guide their future. Right now, they often repeat what they’ve heard from the adults around them, but that’s part of learning. As parents, grandparents, and mentors, our job is to give them space to discover who they are, not force them into who we think they should be.
I know my own father was thrilled when I chose chemical engineering to follow in his footsteps. But it wasn’t my calling. God used that season to lead me to my soulmate before guiding me into what I was truly meant to do. Sometimes we do need a detour to discover our purpose, but if we can help young hearts listen sooner, maybe fewer people will spend decades in careers that never fit.
So let’s foster their talents. Let’s explore their possibilities. Let’s give them both the wisdom of our experience and the freedom to find their own passions. If we do, they won’t just survive, they’ll thrive, and the world will be better because of it.